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08-18-2009 I would call Cubs closer Kevin Gregg a polarizing Chicago athlete, but there are too many things wrong with that statement. He’s no closer, and it’s questionable whether he’s really even an athlete. And he isn’t polarizing either; for that to be the case, someone would have to like him. So I “sat down for an interview” with Kevin Gregg to find out more about the man behind the blown save to see what makes him tick (and then implode). Monster Cards: Kevin, nice to meet you. Does anyone call you K? Kevin Gregg: No. MC: Oh yeah, I can see why they wouldn’t. How about HR? Do you hear any of that in the clubhouse? KG: Yeah, actually I do sometimes. What does that mean? In fact, sometimes the guys call me HR, and sometimes GWHR. But hey, it takes a while to get in tight with the guys on a new team. The camaraderie and the clowning around is one of the things I love about baseball though. MC: I see. Enough about baseball for a moment. I see you every few days on the mound, and I’ve had enough of that. What’s your home life like? If you’re like me, you probably have a bunch of projects around the house you can’t finish… KG: (laughs) Yeah, you have me pegged. How did you know? MC: Just a sneaking suspicion. Anyway, if you’re at home letting loose of a stinky number two in the bathroom, do you close the door? KG: Nope. I tend to leave a lot of doors open. MC: I could have predicted that. Do you cook? KG: I have trouble in that area. Usually I'll put something in the oven and forget to take it out. Even making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches can be a pain - I forget to cut the crusts off. MC: Lots of trouble finishing, I see. Let’s get personal for a minute. How do you do with the ladies? KG: Somewhat inconsistent. I kinda have a problem...you know...down there. I never really get to the fireworks, so to speak. MC: Mm hmm. Yes, that makes sense. Can't finish there either, eh big guy? Probably have a lot of pent up angst. With all that building up, you never know when it could go off. Is that why you wear those goggles? KG: I try to pass them off as a fashion statement... MC: I'm guessing people aren't buying that. So, do you like boos? KG: Oh yeah, in fact, my teammates say if I ever close a game, they're going to crack open some bottles of champagne! Wait, do you think the alcohol is responsible for my problems in the bedroom? MC: Possibly, GWHR. Quite possibly. But I didn't mean booze as in alcohol. I meant it as people in the stands heckling you - those types of boos and booing. KG: I get it now. Wrigley can be tough, but I have a lot of fans on the road. At visitors' stadiums, there's always a lot of cheering when I come in. Even when I have a bad outing, like I do most of the time, that's when those fans really try to inspire me. I give up a lot of walk-off homers, and you should hear all the applause and yelling in the stands. I know it sounds crazy, but it's almost like I want to do that all the time, just to soak up that support from the fans. MC: Well, that actually doesn't sound as surprising as you might think. Any closing words, so to speak, for our readers? KG: Sure, one of my favorite quotes is from the movie Cocktail. Tom Cruise says, “All things end badly, or else they wouldn’t end.” MC: Well-played. This was fun, Kevin. Let's do it again...when you're in another team's uniform. Have fun! -T |
Inside My Brain