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08-27-15 I'm slightly obsessed with Donald Trump. Thankfully, I'm not the only one. Two nights ago, CNN broadcast his ENTIRE(!!) 53-minute campaign speech from Dubuque, Iowa. This is the Trump ratings machine in full effect. Wanna turn this machine up to 11? Go to the 50:00 mark and listen to him talk about how "it's not fair" that he's getting so much news coverage. "How do you make the same speech? So I try to change it up. ... These other guys, they go around, they make a speech in front of 21 people...they read the same speech." What's hilarious is that he's right! CNN doesn't dedicate a live hour of time to any one event like that. They also ran this "Breaking News" headline, which f'n kills me. For 2000 years, the Bible is, well, the freakin Bible! But CNN essentially said, "We didn't believe the hype until Trump endorsed it!" I love it. Maybe I should check out that Bible after all. 
But thank goodness for his comic relief in a world of crappy news. There are rape allegations all over the place: Derrick Rose, Patrick Kane, this prep school/future Harvard kid. We have two twenty-something TV reporters being shot and killed live on TV, and then a whole new world of it being re-broadcast on social media by the killer. Neither the NFL regular season nor the MLB playoffs are here yet. Jared the Subway dude is a piece of shit, as is that Duggar guy. Dentists are killing lions. Trainwreck, the funniest movie of the summer, is now associated with some psycho capping multiple people in a Louisiana theater. Straight Outta Compton memes ran out of comedic gas after about the second one was posted. ISIS. Even McDonalds and Burger King can't get along. And Iran. Just when Obama started to get that crazy bit of senioritis swagger, he had to buckle down and get serious again. Regardless of how you feel about him politically, he has the ability to be a very funny dude. He was just starting to work on that rare nugget of his legacy - the part where he (I'm assuming) wanted to be the funniest president on record, eclipsing Bill Clinton, but he had to snap back into work mode to try to drum up support for the Iran nuclear deal. Stupid nuclear sidetracking... Enter crazy Uncle Donald. Do the kids want helicopter rides? Fuck it - come on down to the Iowa State Fair...they can have all the helicopter rides they want. Clinton played sax on Arsenio. Reagan acted with a chimp in Bedtime for Bonzo. So what? Trump has hosted Saturday Night Live and danced with a bunch of chickens and eggs! (Sorry for the poor quality; SNL usually yanks their clips from YouTube quickly.) Art of the Deal? How about Art of the Cut-Down? His prolific and expert use of the word "loser(s)" is awe-inspiring. Ouch. That stings. I'd rather have my parents call me a loser than the Donald. He recently went after Lindsey Graham in flamboyant Twitter style...and this is after giving out Graham's personal cell number at a live press conference. 
Move over decorum; make room for the funny! As for his politics... who knows? Supposedly, he can't be bought. Oddly enough, this aligns him with the Steve Carlton-esque, Lefty Bernie Sanders. And Jeb(!) ripped on him for not being a true Conservative, for being a Democrat more than a Republican over the last decade. I don't know if that's smart. Maybe smarter in a primary than an overall election, but I'm guessing the voting public is still thirsty for a candidate who can reach across the aisle. Someone who has admittedly "given money to everyone." Someone who unabashedly claims they exploit all loopholes in the tax code and international trade. Do we believe that a candidate is running to correct all the inequities he is currently taking advantage of? It's an interesting question, but so far the polls are backing up that notion. I know one thing, he's out-"telling it like it is"-ing Chris Christie and any others hoping to capitalize on their "straight talk express" boasts. Besides for Trump's ballyhooed ideas about immigration and wall-building, let's not forget that he does have the ability to make deals. And he does have a brain. He's the only GOP candidate thus far that I've heard acknowledge that Planned Parenthood is not 100% an abortion factory. Can't find the clip, but it was with an interview with either Hannity or Chris Cuomo that Trump discerned that abortions were a small part of PP's overall function. This is also a testament to him seeing shades of gray where others only see black and white. I think it's been unfair the way the media frequently casts Trump as a "reality TV star." Besides, The Apprentice wasn't that great. I personally loved it, but it wasn't a tour-de-force as far as creativity or content were concerned. (Still, his financials claimed he made over $200M from the show.) Anyway, my point is that when Americans want to refer to someone as smart (or not smart), they compare the person to Einstein. This has been a part of pop culture for 50+ years now. When people wanted to refer to some as rich (or not rich), there was a period where Rockefeller was the go-to reference. And now it's Bill Gates. But for a period from the early-80s until the mid-90s, the person referenced was Trump. This doesn't happen on accident; even 15 years is a long time to loosely hold that title. Maybe putting your name on everything isn't such a bad PR move after all. Today, many athletes (especially NBA players) aspire to be "a brand." Around the time Michael Jordan was pioneering this trend, Trump was also setting himself as the gold standard (pun intended) in real estate and luxury. When you think about accomplishments in life, there are 50 governors at any given time and 535 Senators + Representatives. You'll find a handful of these among 2016 presidential candidates. You'll only find one billionaire real estate mogul. So, Trump - the brand, the mogul, the reality TV star... He lives in some odd purgatory where, actually, many reality TV "celebrities" live - stuck in a persona yet self-aware. With robust numbers in the polls that honestly should have faded by now, the question is: Are politicians more than just celebrities? Or a better question involves looking in the mirror. Are politicians more to us, the voters, than just celebrities? The Roosevelts were rich as hell, as were the Kennedys. Reagan was an actor, and JFK might have beat Nixon because he chose to wear makeup. If policies and character are what matters, why have so many candidates been bounced (and never recovered) from simple faux pas? Remember "Ooops" from Rick Perry or an overly-exuberant "Yaaaahhhh" from Howard Dean? In each case, one simple word dismantled millions in fundraising and a chance at the highest office on earth. You'd think the electorate would search for something a little deeper to derail a campaign. But no, a misplaced word seems to be good enough for us. At this point, I don't know what can derail Trump. Like many, I assumed this was a charade that would last for a few weeks before no one took him seriously, he said something ridiculous and stepped on his own dick, and quickly became an afterthought. Instead, he has reinvigorated the notion of being a Teflon Don. Anything controversial that comes out of his mouth only seems to help him in the polls. I, for one, am enjoying the entertainment Trump provides. And like I said above, I welcome the break from sad news stories. I think the only thing that will up my enjoyment of this campaign is if a Donald Trump sex tape is released. It doesn't even have to be (and preferably wouldn't be) a video; just the audio is fine. His vocabulary and phrasing would be hilarious in the bedroom. Anyone who has listened to his speeches could probably picture him giving a little pre-coital pep talk... "I hope you're ready for the most spectacular experience of your entire life." "The reviews I get are phenomenal. Everyone knows it. I've boned the hottest. women. in the world, and they all love me." "I'm yooge." "I love the Mexicans. I love the Chinese. They're wonderful people." "I'm so powerful. It's going to be. fantastic." Anyway, like I said, he's entertaining in many ways. You pick your favorite. Have fun! -T You can now find me all over the web:  Like Monster Cards on Facebook (Frequent updates and scans of new inventory - graded and ungraded!)
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